Sunday, June 11, 2006

Next time, I'll shop alone!


Today was a day where son #1 and I decided to spend a few hours together without son #2. Now and then, it's good for the both of us. This day began after my hair appointment which included an eyebrow wax and this time, I agreed to a lip wax. For those of you who don't know what that means... I let someone rip off my "moustache" with hot wax. I don't usually wax, in fact, much to my husband's dismay, I shave it. I used to use bleach, but then, as I got older, I just started to look like a Swedish man. This time, I was actually pleased with the results, since usually I end up with red bumps for a few days that are worse than the probably full-brush moustache if I were to let it grow. This time, the results were actually pretty smooth and no more "shadow."


Later on, my 16 year old son and I are in the car driving to the mall when I decided to clue him in on what women do to keep looking more like women than men. Feeling proud of my ultra smooth face, not to mention my fresh highlights and trim, I told him I waxed my moustache today and what did he think. He looked at me and asked why I decided to leave the "soul patch?"


BURST!


Add to the list of lessons he needs to learn: Never tell a woman that you can see the hair on her face, legs, pits, or other regions. Women spend a lot of time and money on either removing the hair or giving the illusion that it is not there. Play along!


Next, we arrive at the mall where my destination is to Bloomingdales where I need to either return or have them repair a pair of Chanel sunglasses that I bought 3 years ago. All I wanted them to do was fix the screw so that I can wear the glasses on both ears, instead of one. Well, the Chanel rep was so kind, friendly and accomodating (I thought I found a new best friend), that she agreed to not only "damage out" the old pair but give me full credit towards a new (more updated, of course) pair. Then it happened... I knew it was coming, but I couldn't stop it! It was sort of like slow motion when the sales girl opened her mouth. Her voice even came out like a slowed down recording. Right there in front of my son, she announced the price of not only the old glasses ($300.00) but the new ones ($335.00). Right in front of him!!! Isn't there some kind of code or something that women have to protect eachother from such security breaks? Geez, I must have missed that meeting!


Anyway, after my son closed his mouth and returned his eyes to their sockets, he used (I'm so proud of him) discretion and didn't say a word. I finished paying for my new glasses (Hey, they ONLY cost me $35.00, right Girls?) and as we were walking away and after the expected questions like, "Why would any sunglasses cost that much?," he drops the big one; "What's it gonna take for me to keep this from Dad?"


Another lesson that I guess he learned somewhere else: Wives will go to great extremes to conceal how much they pay for certain items from their husbands. Some will even pay partially by charge and partially by cash, so that Inquiring Minds only see the credit card bill and the amount on there!


Listen, it's an argument I'd just rather not have, you know? I guess Son #1 knows!


So, we (I) got him a new Reggie Bush jersey! Pretty good investment, don't you think? ;)




4 comments:

Lee said...

This was great entertainment! I can't tell which part was better. The waxing (oh, that had to hurt), the previous methods (straight Clorox?), the "soul patch" (LOL that one!), the deafening silence (it was sticker shock, not tact), or the blackmail (the kid has a future as a negotiations attorney). Great Blog Lee!

Anonymous said...

What I smart young man....he must have had a great teacher...probably back in elementary school :)
"S"

Decorator said...

Wow I didn't know you could return sunglasses, my screws come out all the time. Guess I should stop shopping on ebay. Too funny about your son!

My Marrakech said...

Hi there, I want a pair of channel sunglasses but don't know which to buy. Which ones do you have?